Much Ado About Nothing
The full text of Shakespeare's Much Ado about Nothing : Act 3 Scene 2| << Much Ado about Nothing - Act 3 Scene 1 | Much Ado about Nothing - Act 3 Scene 3 >> |
A Room in LEONATO'S House. |
Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and LEONATO. |
| D. Pedro. I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon. |
| Claud. I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll vouchsafe me. |
| D. Pedro. Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage, as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string, and the little hangman dare not shoot at him. He hath a heart as sound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper; for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks. |
| Bene. Gallants, I am not as I have been. |
| Leon. So say I: methinks you are sadder. |
| Claud. I hope he be in love. |
| D. Pedro. Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in him, to be truly touched with love. If he be sad, he wants money. |
| Bene. I have the tooth-ache. |
| D. Pedro. Draw it. |
| Bene. Hang it. |
| Claud. You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards. |
| D. Pedro. What! sigh for the tooth-ache? |
| Leon. Where is but a humour or a worm? |
| Bene. Well, every one can master a grief but he that has it. |
| Claud. Yet say I, he is in love. |
| D. Pedro. There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman to-day, a French-man to-morrow, or in the shape of two countries at once, as a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is. |
| Claud. If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: a' brushes his hat a mornings; what should that bode? |
| D. Pedro. Hath any man seen him at the barber's? |
| Claud. No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him; and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis-balls. |
| Leon. Indeed he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard. |
| D. Pedro. Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that? |
| Claud. That's as much as to say the sweet youth's in love. |
| D. Pedro. The greatest note of it is his melancholy. |
| Claud. And when was he wont to wash his face? |
| D. Pedro. Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him. |
| Claud. Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string, and new-governed by stops. |
| D. Pedro. Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him. Conclude, conclude he is in love. |
| Claud. Nay, but I know who loves him. |
| D. Pedro. That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not. |
| Claud. Yes, and his ill conditions; and in despite of all, dies for him. |
| D. Pedro. She shall be buried with her face upwards. |
| Bene. Yet is this no charm for the tooth-ache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear. [Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO. |
| D. Pedro. For my life, to break with him about Beatrice. |
| Claud. 'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet. |
Enter DON JOHN. |
| D. John. My lord and brother, God save you! |
| D. Pedro. Good den, brother. |
| D. John. If your leisure served, I would speak with you. |
| D. Pedro. In private? |
| D. John. If it please you; yet Count Claudio may hear, for what I would speak of concerns him. |
| D. Pedro. What's the matter? |
| D. John. [To CLAUDIO.] Means your lordship to be married to-morrow? |
| D. Pedro. You know he does. |
| D. John. I know not that, when he knows what I know. |
| Claud. If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it. |
| D. John. You may think I love you not: let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage; surely suit ill-spent, and labour ill bestowed! |
| D. Pedro. Why, what's the matter? |
| D. John. I came hither to tell you; and circumstances shortened,—for she hath been too long a talking of,—the lady is disloyal. |
| Claud. Who, Hero? |
| D. John. Even she: Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero. |
| Claud. Disloyal? |
| D. John. The word's too good to paint out her wickedness; I could say, she were worse: think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till further warrant: go but with me to-night, you shall see her chamber-window entered, even the night before her wedding-day: if you love her then, to-morrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour to change your mind. |
| Claud. May this be so? |
| D. Pedro. I will not think it. |
| D. John. If you dare not trust that you see, confess not that you know. If you will follow me, I will show you enough; and when you have seen more and heard more, proceed accordingly. |
| Claud. If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry her to-morrow, in the congregation, where I should wed, there will I shame her. |
| D. Pedro. And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join with thee to disgrace her. |
| D. John. I will disparage her no further till you are my witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and let the issue show itself. |
| D. Pedro. O day untowardly turned! |
| Claud. O mischief strangely thwarting! |
| D. John. O plague right well prevented! So will you say when you have seen the sequel. [Exeunt. |
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